10 hours after reading the book with the most unsurprising yet unpredictable ending ever do I realize how similar Margo Roth Spiegelman and Carmela Ann Javier is.
See, Margo is Quentin’s childhood sweetheart turned ninja-with-a-revenge paper girl in the book obviously called Paper Towns. The title “Paper Towns” is a metaphor for fake cities (or town). Later in the book, Quentin realizes that the Margo he knew wasn’t really the Margo that she really was (Ps: this sentence does not make any sense) therefore making her a Paper Girl. (which btw means fake girl)
Well let me tell you a little bit about Margo.
Margo is a timid, taciturn and over-the-top nice to almost everyone around her (except to her parents though) She is the queen bee. She has a jock for a boyfriend, a really nice circle of friends. But she isn’t who you think she is. Every now and then, Margo runs away from Orlando and embarks in an adrenaline-filled adventure to different places in America. She leaves clues to her parents to add more drama to her exciting adventures. After an amazing adventure with Quentin, she suddenly disappears without actually leaving clues for Quentin. Quentin assumes hat Margo wants him to find her. In the end, they did find Margo somewhere in Agloe, New York (a fictional town invented by cartographers in the early centuries) but sadly, they learned that Margo didn’t want Quentin to find her. She left. She never wanted to be found. She won’t come back.
At first, I didn’t understand why Margo left but eventually I did.
She was, as I mentioned beforehand, a paper girl. The place where she lived is a paper town. The place where she lived, the people she was with, the environment she grew up were all sullen reminders of how little the people knew of the true Margo and how fake she was. Basically, this girl has two faces. One for the audience and her true self. She left because she felt out of place; like she didn’t belong to her family, her friends and Orlando.
That’s why I understand Margo. I AM SO MUCH LIKE HER. I’m a fourteen-year-old adrenaline-junkie who is most of the time mercurial and is dangerously volatile. I usually feel out of place and isolated but I keep going since I’m used to it and I imagine that I’m strong enough to endure it even though most of the time I can’t. Trust me when I tell you that I am the most complicated and most misunderstood person you’ll ever meet. I have a lot of issues, dramas, insecurities and stuff. I may seem super happy and you may see me with a huge circle of friends and yes I do have a seriously awesome boyfriend but you’ll be surprised to know that none of those people know everything about me.
Do they know that I hate cheese? That I don’t eat crabs? That I hate being judged, marginalized, underestimated, insulted, isolated and bullied? NO. Some of them may seem like they do but they don’t. That’s the part where My and Margo’s path cross. The part where we have different sides. The part where we both feel out of place and stuff.
While writing this blogpost, I kept of thinking how to escape like Margo. But I can’t. This is where we’re so different. She’s willing to leave everything behind and live alone. On the other hand, I am not daunt enough to leave everyone and everything I love for a different adventure. I love my life though I may seem like I hate it. I love my friends, my family, him though it may seem like I don’t. I’m up for crazy ideas. I may agree to leaving but someday and somehow, I’ll find my way back to this life that I hated and loved.
Therefore, I am a paper girl myself. Just like her, I’m a girl with different sides, with many faces and with many crazy ideas. But I will never be Margo Roth Spiegelman. I will always be me.